Extract 1:
Well here I am on this poxy ship. I can't believe I was caught stealing five million credits - or was it five hundred million? I can never remember. Met a fool called Blake who wants me to do everything for him so we can take this poxy ship over.

Extract 2:
I did everything for Blake and then he gave himself up because Raiker started killing morons. What a sham! Now I'm waiting for certain death.

Extract 3:
Certain death did not occur. Instead I am now on a pretty good ship full of treasure. What a bit of luck! The only bad thing is Blake insisted on picking up the idiots on Cygnus Alpha responsible for the failed escape attempt. I think he is a fanatic and mad.

Extract 4:
I think I am mad. I helped Blake blow something up on Saurian Major (he likes doing this). Gan has proved himself useless already. At least Cally is here now - someone with a speck of intelligence.

Extract 5:
Well so much for that decoder we picked up. It just told us Blake's arch enemy is going to kill us and will follow us everywhere (and he's got an eye patch for goodness sake! Am I in a pantomime?). Also said something about a puppet president Blake wants to visit. What a load of rubbish! Spent my time exploring the Liberator to stay sane.

Extract 6:
Sorted out the mess on Ortega because no one else had the basic intelligence to work it out (they are letters, not numbers, you fools!). Blake let Travis go on a god forsaken planet (WHY?!!) and picked up a wimpy resistance leader from a cold planet. Gan went mad (sorry madder), the puppet president is no longer a puppet and we are now on our way to get Orac (whatever that is).

Extract 7:
So much for Orac - a plastic box who said we would blow up (though then we realised it was a sister ship). Then he started bullying Cally. I've told it if it does that again I will ensure that I will destroy it. Left the bombs in Orac just to make my point clear. Orac is now sulking, but at least it knows I am its master.

Extract 8:
Gan's dead (yawn). Blake mucked up his plan again and then he sulked on a carnivorous planet. Guess who had to rescue him? Me again...

Extract 9:
Just helped Blake recover from some brainwashing. He didn't even say thankyou. On our way to Freedom City now. Time to do some gambling...

Extact 10:
Made millions! Pity I can't spend it on anything because Blake wants to blow up the Federation's heart. Finally found out where the stupid place is after Blake and Jenna visited some cavemen. Cavemen!

Extract 11:
Well Blake wanted to blow up the Federation, but then at the critical moment he changes his mind. Just to beat a bunch of weird aliens! I've told him to get lost - I will sort them out. I've had enough of his stupid mistakes!

Extract 12:
Hmm. Just had a nice time on Sarran. I didn't realise Servalan was so se....